Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My band

I'm starting a band with a few other nurses and one of our patients. In honor of a very impressive procedure result this morning, we call ourselves "Straight Cath For Two Thousand."

Our musical genre is, of course, liquid funk.

Friday, February 24, 2012

An Open Letter

Dear Eight Million Little Birds Camped In The Tree Outside My Window,

It's easy to see that you are all terribly cute little creatures. And I appreciate that your arrival here via coordinated navigation and timing abilities is a true marvel of nature. Further, I understand the ecological and climatological significance of your early migration this year, inasmuch as it represents a data point supporting anthropogenic climate change theory.

Anyway, shut the hell up.

Sincerely,
The Night Shift

Friday, February 10, 2012

Stick and Move

A delirious elderly lady threw a punch at me last night. She really got her weight behind it, too. I cleverly dodged, because I have seen this situation before, and I've learned to always watch the hands of a confused patient.

Punch me in the face once, shame on you. Punch me in the face twice, shame on me.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Extra, extra

There's something going around. Several nurses on my unit have been calling in sick, on and off, for the past couple of weeks. This is a problem; having fewer nurses doesn't mean we get any fewer patients.

The staffing office has therefore been calling around to ask the rest of us to pick up extra shifts. At first I was really reluctant to give up any of my precious time off. Then my student loan statement showed up, on the same day as my bill for all that dental work, and I said "Sure! Overtime sounds like fun."

I've now worked 11 days out of the last 14, or some such. Three nights on, one night off, two on, one off, three more on... honestly I lost track someplace in the middle there. We'll just say I have been working my tail off. That's enough detail to go on with.

The money math for this situation is fun to calculate. Base pay for the extra shift, plus time and a half for every hour over 40, plus the night shift differential, plus the weekend differential, all adds up to quite a nice number on my check. But after a couple weeks, the numbers aren't enough to keep me going. The spirit is willing, but the feet hurt and the brain is getting smooshy.

So, now, I'm taking my regular scheduled off days. Worked yesterday and don't have to be back at the hospital until Wednesday. I'd like to say I have fun plans, but most likely I'll spend the bulk of the time under my pillow, just making up for the sleep debt.

Staffing called again this afternoon, asking if I could pick up another shift tonight. I said no, because I was too tired to laugh out loud.